18 July 2010,
To Whom It May Concern,
Hello!!! My name is Yaya. As you can see, I am applying for the job of blah blah blah.You may review my attached resume to learn all about my vast experiences, my unique qualities and my hot passport size picture that as make me perfect for the blah blah blah.
I know I know! Of course there is surely someone that are more qualified out there. Someone with more experience as boldly stated in your advertisement in Jobstreet.com. Maybe your company policy that to always hire form within. Or maybe your CEO anak cucu adik beradik is looking for a job and you as want to bodek you CEO give the favor to him and never tell anyone else. Or maybe a skinny very cun hot pretty girls that turns you on. There are plenty of reasons you probabyly won't hire me.
But let me tell you one thing, I've been unemployed for 2 months now. I'm bored and broke. This has make me hungry! Very hungry to get a job and I will do anything for you to get this job. If you want to skip your meetings or to ponteng your work. Its ok! I can help you with your chores and never tell another living soul. I dont care if you are male or female. I will do it. Not to worry.
Have you been embezzling money from the company? I'll help you cover it up. If the defalcate is serious, I'll help you pin the wrap to somebody else. Maybe the one who has been your competitors or your enemy who always put a pile of tahi to you. I'll help you. Seriously!!
I've always a team player. If you are a woman in 40's that is single, I can always recommend you with any hot guys that you love dating too. But if you are a men that love to pull a train of prostitute, brought to hotel with company money and needed someone to tell your wife that you are working late in the office on Friday night? I will sepak you. Anyhow I wish you are a woman and I need this job!
Furthermore, I can always make teh tarik and help you to buy 2 bungkus nasi lemak every morning. If you fuss me with your workloads, I will do it. My ass is always for you to kick. I wont mind. I'm not a crying baby type.
I want this pozishn. If my wide array of interests doesn't qualify me for the job than no one will! If you still doesnt offer me, you only have a week to live. Muahahahha.
Thank you for your kind consideration.
Ms Yaya The Desperato.